A bluebird, a butterfly, a dragon, whatever you want to refer to it as I believe that most people have something deep down in their heart buried that they want to let out but something is stopping them from doing so. Especially those times when you feel like you have the proverbial elephant on your chest making it seem almost impossible to breath let alone exhaling anything else into the vibrations of the world around oneself. I first became aware of Charles Bukowski, who used the metaphor of a bluebird to paint the most eloquently blunt portrait of this concept that I have come across, so far in my life, roughly ten years ago. He wrote an array of novels, short stories, essays, and poetry, but most of his prolific poetic writings are the almost unreadable ramblings of an alcoholic chain-smoking mind. Within the numbers game of this vast span of writings, though, are a few elegant endearing borderline masterpieces that speak to the broken and tarnished seekers of the beauty of life and with it the desire to be part of that beauty. That desperately want to become entangled within and become a contributor to this beauty’s aura that soaks into the world as a whole and the hearts of the others that surround their own being. The ones that can sometimes barely breathe from all the grief, anger, and loneliness strangling their hearts at times, but still hold onto the fluttering of hope inside of their chest that wants to break out of the self-imposed prison. Letting this bluebird out can seem like the scariest of feats when its few ventures out of the cage have resulted in fearful retreat and the almost agoraphobic self-mental beatings of what were you thinking going out. What did you think was going to happen?
I sat on this idea for this tattoo for the longest span of time out of any of my other tattoo ideas and follow throughs. To me it is the boldest proclamation of any of my body markings and one that I was the most hesitant to add permanently to my literal body of art. I cannot describe my hesitance to get this tattoo with the appropriate reasoning of words other than maybe I was scared. Like I have shared in the couple of previous writings about my tattoos I have not been following through with the inspiration behind adding them to my body. For this one my hope was that by being able to see it as I please it would give me the courage to let the bluebird out of the cage of my heart and chest by not letting fear keep my desires at bay. I have both failed at regularly letting it out to take flight and to appropriately control its foray into freedom. When it comes out it is ravenous with neediness for want of approval and validation. It is one extreme or another and that is not fair to myself or the ones that occasionally get to see that wondrous bluebird. I want him to be able to come out and stay out. How does one control that?
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